Trendy identities
This is an attempt to separate feelings from the transgender trend.
Feelings are real, no matter where they come from or why we have them. Feelings inform our thoughts and actions. Sometimes we are unaware of doing this and sometimes feelings are visceral and give way to action.
Here's a good list of the many feelings I saw my daughter exhibit while identifying as trans. She felt, anger, depression, anxiety, panic, confusion, distress, sadness, discontent, hatred of self. All of these feelings were very very real. When she finally stepped away from her identity as transgender, she went through a process of change, her anger turned outward toward the pressures from all trans support circles online. She felt bullied and harassed as she pulled away. Her anxiety, depression, and panic lessened, her distress, sadness, and discontent nearly disappeared, with each step away from her identity of transgender.
She found a way to love herself.
It was as if her feelings transcended her identity. They did.
The identity of transgender is a descriptor, meant to capture a feeling. Is it accurate? Maybe sometimes it is. For my kid it wasn't. For most kids it isn't. It's a convenient way to fit these feelings into something with a name that's visible and vocal in our snapshot moment in time. What does it mean to identify as transgender? For every person you ask, you'll get a different answer. The meaning itself is fluid, like feelings, subjective, and changeable.
Let kids feel these feelings and let them just be these big mixed up incoherent, jumbled adolescent feelings. These feelings do not mean transgender. How could they? Transgender is meaningless, just like gender and all its trappings. Identity itself is meaningless without learning what it is to love yourself. Who you are is the character you possess, the you that you present to the world, the you that you live with.
None of us can be untethered from our bodies. We can choose to accept or mistreat our bodies. We choose how we care for our bodies. To learn to love our bodies is a powerful act. To forever alter it is to chase an imaginary idea into the future, like a fistful of sand. It's illusive. You can never BE other. You can only be you.
Find a way to love yourself.
Feelings are real, no matter where they come from or why we have them. Feelings inform our thoughts and actions. Sometimes we are unaware of doing this and sometimes feelings are visceral and give way to action.
Here's a good list of the many feelings I saw my daughter exhibit while identifying as trans. She felt, anger, depression, anxiety, panic, confusion, distress, sadness, discontent, hatred of self. All of these feelings were very very real. When she finally stepped away from her identity as transgender, she went through a process of change, her anger turned outward toward the pressures from all trans support circles online. She felt bullied and harassed as she pulled away. Her anxiety, depression, and panic lessened, her distress, sadness, and discontent nearly disappeared, with each step away from her identity of transgender.
She found a way to love herself.
It was as if her feelings transcended her identity. They did.
The identity of transgender is a descriptor, meant to capture a feeling. Is it accurate? Maybe sometimes it is. For my kid it wasn't. For most kids it isn't. It's a convenient way to fit these feelings into something with a name that's visible and vocal in our snapshot moment in time. What does it mean to identify as transgender? For every person you ask, you'll get a different answer. The meaning itself is fluid, like feelings, subjective, and changeable.
Let kids feel these feelings and let them just be these big mixed up incoherent, jumbled adolescent feelings. These feelings do not mean transgender. How could they? Transgender is meaningless, just like gender and all its trappings. Identity itself is meaningless without learning what it is to love yourself. Who you are is the character you possess, the you that you present to the world, the you that you live with.
None of us can be untethered from our bodies. We can choose to accept or mistreat our bodies. We choose how we care for our bodies. To learn to love our bodies is a powerful act. To forever alter it is to chase an imaginary idea into the future, like a fistful of sand. It's illusive. You can never BE other. You can only be you.
Find a way to love yourself.
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